I did not ask my manager, so tonight I will be spending my countdown at the store.

In a few hours time Year 2006 will be over, and Year 2007 will be here. 2006 has been a very eventful year, with all the ALevels and what not. Definitely a major highlight of my life and an unforgettable one.

As a recap, let's see what I have done in the past year.

1) NOI. Well bronze was not exactly a good medal, but I guess I should count my lucky stars to get that.

2) My new @#$! computer! Its still being processed, but at least I'm sure it will come...one day. Besides the new computer which can finally replace my seven-year-old Pentium 3 450Mhz, there is also the LCD monitor which many others already for a few years.

3) VJC. Hectic and eventful, but overall, enjoyed the time there.

Hmm I see there are not much things to say. But the third point itself can be expanded to pages, like the college exams, the ALevels, iCOMP, Robotics Club, which I don't have time to elaborate. Haha.

I looked at my 2006 New Year resolution, and it is as below:
1) Get 4 As! (This actually also means keeping my 4 subjects =X)
2) NOI gold! (Abit far-fetched..but..)
3) Complete my senior's micromouse diagonal movement C program! (This will end in May haha)
4) Keep myself fit! (So I won't have to suffer in NS T.T)
5) Be more optimistic! (As i have sweared in my holistic report)
6) A new computer! (Wtf i have been wanting one since 2186986320462034671 years ago!)
7) To go out with my gay friends more often! (missed so many outings with them......)
8) To celebrate Chirstmas 2006 and New Year 2007 countdown somewhere outside! (I don't want to be left out anymore!)
9) World a better place! (Copied from G**'s blog haha)
10) Contribute something to society! (Not sure how yet..maybe CIP ba)

So,
1) Well I did manage to keep my four subjects against all odds, but I did not achieve any A haha. As for ALevels, I have to wait, but hopes are not high.
2) Nope no gold. Can only blame myself.
3) Haha attempted. But did not do anything in the end.
4) If keeping fit means passing napfa, then yes I am fit. Haha.
5) I am always quite optimistic, if not I would not have survived till today. But whether its more or not I don't know.
6) Considered done!
7) I did meet up with them quite a few times. Considered done ba!
8) Wtf I did end up spending Christmas 2006 countdown somewhere outside. And I will be spending New Year 2007 countdown somewhere outside. Have to consider it (unfortunately) done.
9) Sadly the world has become a worse place.
10) I was vague..I did not do any CIP, but as a consumer and a worker I guess I am contributing to society. Haha.

And now 2007 will be coming. Its different from the other years, because this new year, there are no more uniforms to wear, no more school to attend, no more cca to be busy about, no more exams to worry over, no more getting surrounded by four walls with many other people listening to one person talking.

This new year, words that come out from my mouth when I talk to friends are army jargon and work politics instead of physics terms, I am suddenly concerned about how much money is placed into my bank account every month, and to just to be able to see my friends' faces becomes a major challenge.

As for the resolution for the new year, I hope to
1) Get into army in one piece, and survive in it until the end of this year in one piece.
["Come out in one piece" is 2008's resolution haha]
2) Enough money to support my [slowly increasing] gaming expenses, with enough to support myself, and also enough for university expenses. [That sounds difficult.]
3) Learn something useful and thereafter, build up a portfolio perhaps. This is really difficult, given that I have not much time left. But I definitely need to do something if I want to have some form of a "bright future".
4) Keep my brain alive. [Two years inside the camps can apparently make people lose all forms of thinking skills.] I may restart solving programming problems.
5) Seriously, the world a better place.
6) Peace and health and happiness for everyone around me! Including myself haha.

Maybe I have more to add, but I can't think of any now, and I don't have all the time to think. So,
To everyone, friend or enemy or stranger,
Happy new year to all! May all wishes come true!

"Your HP-StarHub MaxOnline order is successful and is now being processed. We will contact you when it is ready for delivery or self-collection."

That was the SMS I received this morning.

And now what begins is the painful wait for the PC to be shipped to Singapore. -.-

I feel kinda sad for myself that I have to work the overnight shift tomorrow, meaning while many others are celebrating the coming of the new year at Marina Bay or VivoCity or whatever other places, I will be celebrating mine at the small lonely outlet in the middle of somewhere no one wants to go.

Its not that I will be going to any of those countdowns, but I would prefer a day spent peacefully at home to welcome the new year, instead of sweeping and moping the floor. Haha.

Maybe I shall just casually ask the manager later if it is possible for me to get a day off, or change to another shift tomorrow.

As if working with the store manager around is not stressful enough, the area manager dropped by today.

He came today apparently to help spring-clean the entire place (for the new year maybe?). So while we continued working outside, he and the store manager was busy at the back throwing all the old stuff, cleaning, rearranging etc etc.

Then I was called to help him, so I ended up cleaning the room with him. He was very fast in his work, so I struggled to keep up with his speed.

After huffing and puffing and getting myself dirtied for a few hours, he was off.

My morning shift is gone! The one working the morning shift tomorrow called to switch, so now I will be doing the afternoon shift tomorrow.

HP replied to that half-polite, half rude email I sent them a few days back. The sender promised to get an HP personnel to call me soon. Apparently he did not bother to check that my order was already being processed, meaning its meaningless for HP to call anymore.

Then again, one day has passed and its still stuck at the "Order is being processed" status. And they have neither called nor smsed me to say that they have received my payment, which they should. Although I do know that payment via SingPost will take three working days to process, I have always thought that to be the maximum processing time possible, and that usually it will take a much shorter time.

And so I am stillllll waiting. In six days time it will be exactly one month since I did the recontract at Sitex. Some efficient service they have.

I want my bloody new comp!

Yesterday:
Status: Order pending payment acknowledgement / order confirmation

Today:
Status: Order is being processed

YESSS!

Hopefully they can get all these done as soon as possible so I can get my computer as early as possible! I have been checking the website so frequently that I have already memorised the order ID, in the form of 15 alpha-numeric characters.

When I went online today the whole computer was very sluggish and slow, and I could not access any blogs and hotmail. I thought it was a problem with my computer, so I thought of going to Google. Even Google was not accessible!

It was when I headed over to the forums that I realised I was not alone.

It cannot come at a worse time. Today was supposed to be the day the speed "upgrades" of my ISP's plans kick into place. But now that this has occurred, it seems like the speed upgrades has not made much of a difference.

Still,

=D

Anyway while the problem has been solved, it has very well revealed our vulnerability resulting from our over dependence on technology.

With a change in roster, Friday will become my first time doing the morning shift. Personally I prefer working in the morning and knocking off in the afternoon, because that is a more normal working time, and I have more time to do all the things I want to, and of course able to watch all the television programmes which I will otherwise miss. But working at that time means the boss will be around, and it can get stressful working under her eyes.

I am getting quite sian of working everyday. Really very monotonous. Yet at the same time, in my heart there is that bit of excitement over that bit of money that will be channeled into my bank account soon. I seem to be becoming one of those lifeless, work-for-money-only, inspiration-less souls out there we see on Shenton Way every morning. I dislike that, but the temptation of money is becoming a little to great to resist. Heh.

I should start some serious work soon. There are only four months left.

Yay!

Mine is in silver instead of black. I woke up and received an sms from boss, who switched my off day from Thursday to today, so I ended up free today to do the purchase.

Its huge!

This monitor cames with a zero-dead-bright-pixel warranty in addition to the three-year on-site one, so the guy offered to check the monitor right after we purchased it. And a dead pixel was present!

The guy immediately changed it, and the new one was fine. Still that kind of shook my confidence, so after I came home I thoroughly checked through again. But so far so good.

The warranty card states that this monitor comes with a three-year-zero-bright-pixel warranty, different from what the guy said, which is three pixels. Hmm....I shall act dumb and take the appropriate advantage haha.

I very much wanted to use the photos I took with my phone camera instead of the above picture, but to my horror I found out that the hard disk in my other computer is spoilt, so I could not use the Bluetooth.

But not being able to use those photos is a small thing; not being able to retrieve my stuff inside that hard disk is a big thing!!!!!!

I have a whole lot of shit inside that hard disk leh...the most important ones include all my solved spanish judge questions and all my Director programs that I have made over the years.

This time round I am not very optimistic, because the hard disk gives off a weird sound when the computer tries to read it. It gets stuck at the startup screen, throwing me a "primary disk fail to boot". I have a feeling that hard disk is gone case liaox.

=(

Yes my new computer is on the way, but the old one holds much of my really really really important stuff. Hope a miracle will happen soon.

Also I paid for my new computer today. Payment through SingPost will take one day to process, so hopefully tomorrow I will receive the confirmation sms, and maybe the computer can be delivered in days.

I would have been very very excited if not for that hard disk. Argh.

The monitor comes with a free keyboard and mouse. I have started using the mouse, the house's first ever optical mouse. Haha.

Haix.

Yay.

We have not paid yet...wonder if can pay tomorrow since its a public holiday. I hope payment can be done quickly so that I can get the computer asap. Apparently there is a shipment at the end of this year, don't know can rush out by then or not.

I can't wait! Any longer and I will go crazy. Haha.

This desktop comes with Windows XP Media Center Edition, and I can get a "free" upgrade to Vista Home Premium when it launches! Its not free because I have to pay for admin and shipping fees, costing about 30 bucks.

Yay!

Yesterday I was working halfway yesterday when my boss asked me if I can take the sunrise shift or not, meaning work all the way to the following morning. I agreed.

And what I have learnt that night is more than what I have learnt in the previous five days.

I was wrong about the sunrise shift being a slacking shift. The fact that there were few customers at night meant that I had to clean all the machines, sweep and mop the floor, write off the previous day's buns, puffs and newspapers, put in new buns and puffs, top up the cups and lids etc etc.

Well I was thrown into the sunrise shift without knowing what and how to go about doing all that. Luckily the boss brought in a guy from a nearby outlet. This guy was very experienced, knowing exactly what to do. He patiently showed me around and told me exactly what and when to do everything.

Provided that I still remembered what he said, I should be able to handle next week's three sunrise shifts. Sigh.

Working straight for 16 hours was really tiring, and I had no chance to rest during the early morning. When I finally went home I fell aslp for a moment on the bus while sms-ing a friend halfway. Haha. I woke up just as the bus stopped at my bus stop, with my handphone flip still open showing the half written message, and my ex-link card on the floor. I knocked out the moment I reached home, and had trouble understanding when my mother told me my brother fell and hurt his hand the previous night.

Back to my beloved Internet Service Provider, and the computer company it partnered with for the promotion. Both had already received a slew of complaints about the slow progress of the computer company calling up the Internet subscribers about retrieving the computers. Now both are in the limelight for apparently, cheating.

Well on the promotion posters and advertisements it was said that a subscription to the Internet service comes with a laptop that has "Intel Centrino Core Duo Mobile Technology".

For those who don't know, Centrino does not refer to a processor, but instead to a technology. To be named "Centrino", a laptop must have a particular combination of 1) an Intel processor, 2) an Intel chipset, and 3) an Intel wireless LAN card. All three, when added together, will result in the saving of power, or rather, extended battery life.

Although the "free" laptop is termed as a Centrino in the posters, those who got the laptop realised that the WLAN card is not from Intel, but from Broadcom.

Sounds like a small case huh? (just a lan card ma) Haha but some are saying that that results in no power saving features, resulting in a shorter battery life.

The computer company says its the ISP's fault, who made an error in promoting the laptop. But I was wondering the company never realised the mistake although it was hung for one month.

As if they do not have enough complaints yet, they have terminated the promotion due to overwhelming response, about two weeks from the original date. Now people complain that they do not stay true to their word.

What to do? This is Singapore ma.

EDIT: YES! HP finally called! I was eating my lunch when someone called. Turned out the person was already on the phone with my father, but my father does not have an email address, so she called me and asked for mine. (Haha it was quite weird hearing my father going ya, ya, ya at the background.) 5 minutes later, which is now, I checked my inbox and the mail was there! Looks like complaining works huh..don't make noise think we sick cat.

I made a mistake yesterday and resulted in some slight dissatisfaction in a customer. I did not realise that there was a twin pack offer for milk, and it was not reflected in the computer. So the customer ended up paying 55cents more. The 55cents was returned, but I ended up slightly shaken and a little queue forming at my counter.

Somehow people think that our cash registers are very flexible like those in neighbourhood provision shops, but actually they are not. Because at the end of the day the money inside the register has to tally with what the register has recorded.

I guess after working for 4 days, I still don't really like this job. I am comfortable with interacting with the strangers now, but all those unexpected situations easily scare the hell out of me.

Later I will be off for work, my first swing shift on a weekend. Hopefully I can match up to the speed required. Hopefully nothing goes wrong today.

In other news, HP refuses to reply to my email. Yesterday my father called up Starhub, whose customer service officer said he will tell HP about it.

Today was generally ok except for two things.

One was the evening peak hour everyone knocked off from work. They come in batch after batch after batch. Then one guy purposely chose that time to buy a singtel card, so he took up one counter while my friend handled the transactions. A long queue started forming at my counter, making me rushed like a mad man.

Second was the newbie who started work today. She used my counter, so at the end of the day when we tallied all the money in the cash register, there was a shortage of 7 bucks. And the recording of the takings were all under my name.

I thought gone case liaox, 7 bucks will be deduced from my pay, until my friend, who continued working through the "sunrise" shift, called me not long after I reached home and told me that the other counter had an excess of 6 plus bucks, which can cover the shortage.

Otherwise, I am now more or less familiar with the various cashless payment systems and the top-up systems. I still can't differentiate the different pies and puffs.

I am starting to get sian liaox. Haha. I seriously cannot imagine myself going to work everyday. It seems so dull...

The weekend is coming soon, and I heard from my friend that weekends are the days with the most crowds (duh!), and since I am working swing on those days, I now wonder if I can work up to the speed required.

I sent HP an email today, half politely, half rudely, asking why they have not called me. The email was sent before I went for work, and now when I checked, they have not replied me! @#$!

I'm tired.

Today was not bad! For quite a few reasons.

First reason, I am getting used to the cashier-ing machine le. I find that PLUs are not really required, because almost everything is inside the machine, with the exception of some puffs and pies (and the Red Bull, and the single tissue box) that die die require those numbers. And I still need to consult the others to differentiate the pies from the puffs. The baos not much problem liaox.

Second reason, payment by NETS and ez-link cards and topping up of CashCards arent too difficult I realise today. But I am still very slow because I scared press wrongly, so need more time to get used to it. I still cannot remember the exact procedures.

Third reason, the friend I mentioned yesterday was with me today! Not exactly the same shift, but at least for most of the time. Then I got to know another friend slightly better. So both helped me out throughout the day.

Fourth reason, my father was going home just as my work was over. So instead on waiting for the bus at the lonely stop, I was home in less than half an hour.

Fifth and main reason, the boss goes off at 5pm! Any work without the boss around is good. Haha. There was a peak period in the evening when many people got off from work, but around 8pm the crowd disappeared, so no customers + no boss = relax! Heh.

Today I had my first experience with stocking up goods. Stocks come in on three of the days in a week, so where the stocks come we have to squeeze them in the storeroom at the back. And the storeroom is really small and the stocks are really plenty in numbers. Its a difficult task itself trying to find space to squeeze everything in.

For the next consecutive four days I will be working the "swing" shift (wtf. Yesterday roster wrote my Saturday was a day off. Today I went to check it became swing liaox. Because I only started working yesterday [a Tuesday], the day before it, the Monday, became my day off. They sure know how to take advantage >.<). The "swing" shift will stretch all the way to late night, so hopefully there will be no one around. My job will be very simple then!

Tomorrow will be a good day. Because my friend will be on the same shift as me tomorrow. So with a friend around, work will be easier. Haha.

But hor, stretch into late night will mean I have to miss many television programmes leh. News, Feng Yun, and Project Superstar all cannot watch! And I prefer to be online at night rather than in the day...

One bad thing is that I almost have to stand the whole day. At the end of the day my legs feel like giving way. =(

Well hopefully soon I will get used to things. One thing I need to work on is the lunchtime peak hour. That's when there are many people queuing in front of me and my boss sitting behind me.

Still, handling money that does not belong to me is dangerous, and gives me the shutters.

Keep your encouragements coming in ok! Haha.

Edit: I made a mistake and I lost my original template. Its late now, so I stick with this first.

I am back.

Never blogged anything lately because nothing exciting has happened in the past few weeks. Except that I am seriously getting mad at HP because they still have not called me, even though Laghub's (haha) contract said that someone from HP will call within two weeks.

Its a long process you know? After that someone has called to confirm my upgrade options (which is not fantastic in the first place), I need to pay via SAM or SingPost (for my poor family do not have credit card), which will take three working days (Monday to Friday only!) to process. After HP has ensured that the money is safely in her pockets, they will then give the green light to build the computer (which I read is in China). So it will take 14-18 days to build and ship the computer to our glorious multi-racial multi-religious motherland. Of course they don't ship computers one by one, they do it in batches.

I have started working.

I don't really like my new job actually. Because I have to interact with people. Because I have to memorise the PLUs (I don't know what the hell it stands for) of stuff that cannot be scanned, like all those pies and puffs and whatever. Because of the whole chunk of procedures. But the main reason is because I have to handle money, which is very dangerous, especially when the money is not mine.

My first day was alright, because I got to know a fellow guy, working during his break after his O Lvls. He made my day better for showing me around and assisting me. But tomorrow we are having different shifts. So Buddha knows who I will be meeting tomorrow.

I still have more procedures to learn, the whatever nets and cashcard payment and top-up systems, the whatever stock taking etc etc etc etc.

I'm suffering!

If not for the money (which is not attractive by the way, but I need money for more RAM and a LCD monitor, and possibly a better graphics card and more fans, which may require a power supply box of a higher wattage!) I would have quitted!

Nah just joking. Maybe I'm just not used to the environment yet, as I have always felt during all the orientations I have attended in my life. Hopefully things will change for the better soon. Please encourage me ok! Both smses and tags are welcome. Give me the strength to go on!

One of my friends who is already in NS smsed me today. Apparently he is enjoying life inside ( at least he is giving me that impression haha). The first two weeks are, according to what he was told, good. So the torture only comes from the third week onwards. They did not do much today because it rained the whole day.

This holidays is very unlike the other holidays, because this holidays marked the end of our journey to gain knowledge. Some have went for long holidays, some have started working, some have went on to NS, some are waiting to enter NS. Soon, all the friends who have previously fought alongside with me will all go their separate ways.

Just like the toast given to the knights and soldiers after they came back from battle, I have so far went for two gatherings, one with my computing friends, one with my secondary school friends. I have another one tomorrow with another bunch of secondary school friends, but I am unable to meet them.

Thats all for now. Be back another day.

Today I got the opportunity to personally experience the well-known kiasu-ism that exist in all Singaporeans.

My father and I set off at 9.45am in his taxi towards Expo, knowing very well that the carpark lots there would be filled up very quickly. True enough when we reached there, the digital signboard at the entrance showed that besides carparks F and G, all the rest from A to H were full, although Sitex only opened at 11am. Many more people streamed in from the MRT station, bus stop and taxi stand.

Security guards were at the doors to allow the staff in while keeping the rest out. Over at Hall 3, a small but slowly increasing crowd was present, which I later found out, had the same destination in mind as us.

At first my father and I were standing by the side, but as the crowd started gathering at the door, all looking as if they were cannibals eager to eat up the two old men, we had no choice but joined in the crowd as well. A couple beside me were in whispers and pointing to the booth everyone was aiming for, which I guessed was one telling the other where to go, without letting others hear it. Typical Singaporean behaviour. Haha.

They decided to let us in earlier, at 1045am, because they knew very well we were going in to the same booth to queue.

Once the two old men gave the signal, it was war!

Those right at the front of the crowd immediately started running! Those at the back, unwilling to lose out, started pushing those in front. All 形象 were gone! Fight! The important thing then was to get to as front the queue as possible. There were two queues, one for signing new contracts, the other for re-contracting.

I maintained my image haha. We only walked briskly towards the booth. I saw the queue that said "New contract", but the next moment I saw the one we need, the one that said "Recontract".

There was not all! Some bastards cut queue! The queue lines they set up were those poles with tight straps connecting them, so some people simply crawled through them. #$@! But I took comfort that the one who ended up behind me through queue cutting was not a Singaporean. And he came to the wrong queue, joining the queue for recontracting when he wanted to sign a new one. While he did not receive his punishment because they still handled his new contract, it did gave him quite a scare initially, because by the queue was very long. Haha.

We were among the first thirty people in the queue. Still we waited almost an hour to get the contract signed.

And all we got in the "sure-win" lucky draw is a dumb set of four dumb magnets, in the shape of the green fat pipe that they claim they have. Real dumb. I can't think of any use for those. Seriously they should have put up more practical things like pen or something. Even underwear would have been more useful than those magnets.

Actually the sole purpose of going there even before it opened and willingly queuing up for so long was neither because of the lucky draw, nor because of the $40 Sakae Sushi voucher, but because of the $150 HP discount voucher which I can use it on the computer upgrades.

It will not come so soon, so I have to wait.

The broadband war is getting more and more exciting it seems.

The freebies are getting bigger and bigger, from the initial discounts in subscriptions, to iPods and free speed upgrades, and now, desktops, laptops and xbox 360s!

I won't be surprised if they start giving out mansions and cars next time.

More companies are also joining in for a share of the pie, with one company offering wireless broadband and another company on the verge of doing so.

The fight continues on behind the scenes under the table. Both Starhub and Singnet are having their individual separate promotions with the taxi drivers. Haha.

Then today there is the surprising news that the free wireless nationwide Internet service will be launched one month ahead of schedule. Excited, I went to comb for information, and was disappointed when I see that the coverage in Tampines is only restricted to the central area. I have one lucky friend who lives right inside the area, and at least three living on the borders of it.

Of course, free 512Kbps doesn't sound great, but 10bucks a month for 1Mbps is.

知足
怎么去拥有一道彩虹
怎么去拥抱一夏天的风
天上的星星笑地上的人
总是不能懂不能知道足够
如果我爱上你的笑容
要怎么收藏要怎么拥有
如果你快乐不是为我
会不会放手其实才是拥有
当一阵风吹来风筝飞上天空
为了你而祈祷而祝福而感动
终于你身影消失在人海尽头
才发现笑着哭最痛
那天你和我那个山丘
那样的唱着那一年的歌
那样的回忆那么足够
足够我天天都品尝着寂寞
才发现笑着哭最痛wo…
如果你快乐再不是为我
知足的快乐叫我忍受心痛

咸鱼
我是一只咸鱼不想承认也不能否认
不要同情我笨又夸我天真还梦想著翻身
咸鱼就算翻身还是只咸鱼输得也诚恳
至少到最后我还有咸鱼不腐烂的自尊
我没有任何天分
我却有梦的天真
我是傻不是蠢
我将会证明用我的一生
我如果有梦有没有错
错过才会更加明白明白坚持是什么
我如果有梦梦要够疯
够疯才能变成英雄
总会有一篇我的传说
我不好也不坏不特别出众我只是敢不同
我的人生就是一错再错错完了再从头
也许放弃掉一些活得更轻松我却不再是我
我不愿一生晒太阳吹风咸鱼也要有梦

有一天有我的天空

作我的英雄在我的天空
我知道你懂知道你会懂

Well I know both songs are kinda old, appearing in 五月天's 神的孩子都在跳舞 album. Perhaps I am thinking too much and the album was simply for commercial purposes, but sometimes I so wonder why Mayday puts these two songs into the same album when they totally contradict each other.

One song tells me to be content with whatever I have, the other tells me to pursue my dreams no matter how ridiculous or impossible they are. So when should I be content, and when should I not be?

I take note that they only ask the 咸鱼s to try their best. So does that mean that only the 咸鱼s should try their best, and the others should just be content with whatever they have?

The main problem I have with myself is that I do not know where to draw the line.

***

When one's life sucks, all the bad things that can never happen will happen to him.

The computer is beside the sofa, and I use my earphones to listen. I have the habit of hanging my earphones on the side of the sofa after I finished using them, with the head still in the audio jack.

So when I was doing spring cleaning I wanted to retrieve stuff from the cupboard behind the sofa. I did not see my earphones, and I pulled my sofa out, *piak* a sound went, the earphones dropped onto the floor, nicely split into two.

One side still functions, the other is gone.

Torrent downloading using rtorrent in FC is so slow, I can only clock at 1+ kbps, and it slows down my already slow computer. I swtiched over to utorrent (where u is the miu thingy) upon seeing my friend downloading faster than me. But utorrent only exists in Windows versions so I have to switch over to Windows.

Downloading using utorrent is indeed faster, able to clock at average 10 kbps. But because my Windows is seriously corrupted after mounting it in FC, it is impossible for me to open IE or MSN there. So its either I blog and surf net and chat in MSN, or I download and cut myself out from the rest of the world.

I think I will choose the latter.

This pressure to find a job is getting heavy. A heated argument between my parents earlier in the morning hints that I will have to help contribute soon. And there's also all the talk among friends. Cannot earn money = useless in society. Yes true, although I don't like the way it works. Then I realise my brother can easily help me find one, through his connections. Maybe I shall ask him when I decide to get one. I think I still have things to do.

With 6GB worth of things to download, I have to stick to that corrupted Windows for quite some time. So...
Then again there's nothing much for me to say.

And yes, today is the last day of my papers. Quite an okay paper, but my two years of studying end in quite a whimper, with only 14 students in a classroom tucked in one corner of an otherwise almost empty building. Another small group of students was still engaged in their paper, so when ours ended, we were the only ones cheering for ourselves.

Sad. Haha.

The end of my 12 years of education seems to mark my entry into adulthood. Friends around me are already hunting for jobs, and my conscience tells me I should very well get one too. But. Maybe not so early.

My primary school did not do well for this year's PSLE it appears.

I don't know what else to say. I don't know why I come here in the first place. Maybe simply to mark the End. Or the Start.

Warning: Geek post!

Computers are becoming more and more powerful today huh?



That, Fedora Core 5, is the exact same OS I'm using now, and is exactly what I see on my computer. Sadly the guy only showed nothing more than the basic features. I do wonder how he controls the pointer? With the analog pad?

Notice the penguins at the top of the screen during the boot up? It is a mascot for Linux, has a name Tux, and the number of Tux appearing denotes the number of processors (or cores, in this case) the OS detected.

And yes, 8 little penguins sitting there welcoming you.

And wth, it boots up so darn fast! At least 100 times faster than my miserable Pentium 3. I want my new computer!

Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to my blog,
happy birthday to you!

Its my blog's three-year-old birthday!

Three years ago today [albeit another 13 hours later], I started this blog after seeing some of my friends having theirs. Setting up this blog was initially for the fun for it, just to get an idea of how it works, what's the big deal about it, and to a smaller extent, just to find something to do over that particular holiday season. I seriously had no idea I had so many things to say, so much so that it is still publishing my crap three years later.

I started off simply by typing out whatever that comes into my mind, no proper sentence structure, no standard English, no nothing. Also, my blog entries are [almost] such that they are meant for my eyes only (i.e, I assume no one is reading).

Over the years, however, I begin to acknowledge that there are readers out there, so now I try to roughly plan what and how to type. More importantly, I try to ensure that my readers have a easier time reading my crap, so I paragraphed my entries as well. And of course, ditch that colourful AHS background which makes words difficult to read, for a simple white background with huge fonts. Haha.

Unfortunately, my English has not improved much, but I digress.

There are times when I question myself the purpose of maintaining this, because simply I see no need to do so. I ask a friend, only to get a scolding in return that I am a "selfish boy". I thought to myself, yes I want to see my friends blog, so I know that they are still alive and well, so maybe others may think the same way too.

Anyway now I blog for the kick of typing. Haha. And maybe to a smaller extent, entertain.

The people who come to my blog surprises me sometimes. People I never think will ever come here actually do. Even mothers read my blog!

I have shared many of my 酸 甜 苦 辣 here. Happy things like me getting broadband, getting new handphone, receiving well wishes for my birthday, [and soon, getting new computer =D] etc, sad things about me getting disappointing grades, not achieving anything, my frustrations, my anger, my thoughts, my wishes, my hopes, all [almost] neatly and thoroughly (sort of) recorded here.

Then again, the very fact that I have readers make it difficult for me to voice some of my thoughts, although through this I learn to be more careful with what I say, here and in real-life. I try to.

I have to agree with the editor in Digital Life, that no matter how private one wants his blog to be, the root purpose of blogging is actually to get oneself noticed. I do not deny that. Haha. Given that I am an introvert by nature, blogging seems the perfect way for me to interact with others.

The editor mentioned that teens think blogs reflect their personalities, so they spend alot of time dressing up their blogs. Then I see my blog so plain, oh no what am I?! Haha.

I gave a blog new clothing last year. This year I have no idea what to do.

Lastly I want to thank all my readers for their support! Even though no one seems to respond haha. But they are a major source of motivation for me to keep on blogging. May this blog live on!

[I welcome readers, but I don't welcome attention.]

Now that I have finished this entry, I realise that I may the only person who bothers to celebrate blog birthdays. I seem to like to exaggerate things.

When Singtel first came out with the 5Mbps plan at $49.95 a month, I was guessing Starhub will counter back with an offer, because Maxonline 4000 cost $58.80 a month [although I pay slightly less thanks to a promotion with ComfortDelgro haha].

And so today when I flipped open the newspapers, the Starhub advertisement screamed free speed upgrades from Maxonline 4000 to 6000!!!

Yay!

But the best deal was Maxonline 6500. They [almost] doubled it to 12000!

The speed upgrades will come into effect on 28 Dec, which makes it pretty nice Christmas present to me! Haha.

That is, if my father decides to continue the plan. My plan is expiring....and i want to continue!

I am back!

Exams are almost over. I still have a Computing paper 7 days from now. But because of long gap, I consider my exams over. Haha.

I have started "celebrating" since Wednesday after Physics, where I took out my Dreamcast and played until it (apparently) overheated and shut itself down. I have started researching on specifications for my new computer (I. Seriously. Cannot. Wait. Anymore.).

As for my own candidate's report, I don't have much to say. Computing is okay, and I think my coursework can pull me up quite a bit. Maths and General Paper are wildcards, Physics is a little bit of a goner. Chemistry....I should be able to pass I guess.

I refrained from checking my answers with my friends, instead coming up with my own conclusions as stated above. I prefer to leave things as "wildcards" instead of knowing that I will die a horrific death. Yes I like to escape from reality. Reality has never been kind to me anyway.

Although I know fully well that I deserved this given that I did not prepare well beforehand, I wonder why I still had this feeling of sadness at the end of those papers which I did not do well.

Still, at the back of my mind, there exists a glimpse of hope that those answers I had dumped in will gain enough marks to give me decent grades. I do not wish to predict what grades I will get, because my previous blog entries had me promising heaven and earth that I will top Singapore and I am now hahahaha (And I laugh at my naivity and stupidity. I sound ridiculously dumb.). However, I think most probably I will not be contributing to the "number of students with 3As/4As". It doesn't matter actually. (Even if it matters, I can't do anything now anyway right?)

So, I have ended my 12 years of education on a low note. I do wonder why. My friend says that's because I am at the end of my mugging cycle. (Well I hope that's true, not the part about I'm at the end, but rather the fact that it is a cycle and not point-to-point.) Or maybe, I have over-estimated myself. Others come late for lectures, join sports ccas where they train almost everyday during night-time, skip tutorials, find girlfriends, play games watch anime all day long, and still do better than me.

That is still ok if I have some other talent somewhere. But nope I don't.
Badmintion play until school don't want me. NOI, I learn one year, pple learn one month, and we end up getting medals of the same colour.
I have missed out so many opportunities throughout my twelve years. All I did in my twelve years were to watch my friends represent school or Singapore in competitions ranging from sports to olympiads, go up on stage to receive trophys for winning anything and everything, win MP3 players and go San Francisco for creating hundred-page-websites, having names appear in newspapers for winning National Colours, win earphones and thumbdrives for coding some grid computing applications etc etc etc etc.

At the very least where one has neither grades nor achievements, one still have some skills. Like able to play drums or fly aeroplanes.

I got nothing!

Haha am I finding excuses to cover up for my dismal performances? Lol I seem to contradict myself everywhere.

As mentioned earlier, whatever results I get doesn't matter anymore, simply because I can't turn back time (although I think even if I can, I will end up in the same square). It is all over, and people look forward (apparently that's why humans' eyes are at the front huh. haha).

Haha then again, looking forward, I don't know what my future will be like, since I have screwed up the very path that leads me into the future. I thought this was perfect for me, but now, hahahahahahahaha.

My conscience tells me I do not deserve all these "slack-and-play-after-exams", which are reserved for people who have worked hard enough. What should I do then?

On a sidenote, I saw this really good and true statement, and I shall borrow his flowers to give to Buddha (in this case, you people) :
To those who still have the S papers, all the best:) These few days will be traded off for many more dollars per month later on in life:)

Sometimes I wonder if there is really a need to maintain relationships.

Relationships have always been protrayed in tear-jerking love dramas and movies as noble love that brings people together to overcome all kinds of difficulties from crises to life-threatening diseases to human-eating monsters. The scenes are always the same: A group of people consisting of two or more people, exchanging touching words in the face of danger, like "We are always behind you!" or "Let's face this together!", whatever.

Sadly, relationships in real-life does not even anywhere near that.

In real-life, relationships are about expectations. You are expected to behave in a manner that is pleasing to their eyes. You are expected to do things that they want you to do. You are expected not to do things they do not want you to do. You are expected to submit to them. You are expected to listen to them. You are expected not to argue. You are expected to be a puppet. You are expected to show them result slips that has the alphabet 'A' at every other line.

In real-life, relationships are about gains and losses. They exist because the parties involved can gain something from each other. They may gain money, power, status, business deals, secret information, that nice jewellery in the shop, or simply, the ability to be able to show off to others that that particular relationship exists.

Will it be better if there are no relationships in this world? Maybe if there are no relationships in this world, you do not need to answer to "related" people for your actions, your words. You do not need to provide explanations on why your handphone bill is a record high this month. You do not need to run home from your friend's party before 2359, because no one will be setting this time in the first place. You do not need to get permission to go out of the house, nor need to provide all the details on your friends who are going to the pub with you, right down to their parents' names or the size of their moles. You do not need to spend three days three nights and your entire month's salary getting what you think is the perfect gift for the loved one, only to result in a disappointed or angry look and verbal abuse that you do not understand him or her at all. You do not need to be afraid of showing your pathetic results in exchange for a curfew or ban. You can be youself. You do not need to hide your true self and act as the person that they want to see and want you to be.

Perhaps many out there are already jumping up from their seats holding protest signs, eager to shower me with all kinds of theories and examples to prove me wrong. What's good about relationships? Provide emotional support? Provide a warm and cosy homes? Provide listening ears? Provide words of encouragement and advice?

Sadly, none of those theories and examples has happened to me so far. Most, if not all, relationships I have seen so far, are of what I have described. Ugly.

Or perhaps, I still do not see the underlying principles and reasons that make up those expectations and demands and requests. All the complications that have arised have covered up the intentions of their actions. Maybe its still noble love.

I'm tired.

EDIT

This makes me stop to think.

"Good morning boys & girls,

Just in case you have 'forgotten' your entry proof, you can pick up a copy from the phole. When you are done, just put it back. Always have a backup ready for the rainy day.

The FORCE is already with you."

Then I look back at myself. I'm still tired.

END OF EDIT