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I thought this year's NDP paled compared to the previous years. Last year there were celebrations at the heartlands, complete with fighter jets making their way down to the heartlands just to make the residents happy (With such tight airspace, that was a challenge, esp the fact that Tampines is so near the airport), there was some online thingy which let people at the stadium moblog entries in, and the fireworks then were much more magificant. Even my mother asked how come this year's performance so little.

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And so, I just watched the National Day Parade on TV. Its all the usual stuff..guard-of-honour, bomb burst, performances, national anthem, fireworks, etc. Yet I still kept myself glued to the television, making sure I do not miss out any moment of the Parade.

I have never watched a Parade live at the stadium or Padang before, save for the National Education Show in Primary 5. That one, I missed the pre-parade segment and had just stepped in when the jets flew past, because of huge jams at the gates. However, watching on TV is not too bad either.

It has always been a huge contradiction for me when it comes to Singapore. I have always hated the exam-oriented environment and mindset that Singapore has shaped in us, the way the opposition is suppressed, the way media is controlled, the high cost and standards of living, and how old buildings are
torn down or restored to beyond recognition, just to keep tourists coming in.

But when I looked back, I have to agree that education forms the best years of my life, its in these schools that I made all the good friends, met all the influential teachers, picked up all the knowledge, and ultimately shaped me into what I am today. I never liked the stress that came with the examinations and competition, but it is this stress that allowed me to stand strong despite all the pressure.

Opposition is suppressed, media is controlled, but I guess that is what allowed Singapore to stay clear of the political crisises that plagued other countries. Cost and standards of livings are indeed high, but I think if one can be easily content that should not be a problem.

Singapore has been an open economy, and we depend highly on foreign markets for our survival. We do not have a culture to start with, so we took all the cultures others brought in, mix them together, and call it our own. Its quite unique in some sense.

Singapore, no matter how bad it is, is the place I grew up in, has provided me a safe environment such that I do not have to worry about basic needs, allowing me to concentrate on what my counterparts in poorer countries consider as luxuries. I have to return this favour in some way or other. I need to start
dreaming.

As Singapore begins its 42nd year of nation building, I do hope that Singapore will continue to thrive. Like what I read somewhere in the papers today, Singapore has not yet found a balance between conservation and development. I hope more can be done in keeping our dying cultures alive (I have not seen a makeshift stage showing Teochew opera for ages), and find something that no other country has. Or we will just be another America. I'm actually quite sick of watching local celebrities introducing Singapore to the world with the same old "Zoo, Birdpark, Sentosa, Hainanese Chicken Rice, Rojak, Chilli Crab".

And oh, more freedom please.

Last but not least, I agree with one Indian said in one of the clips shown during tonight's Parade. Singaporeans need to relax. Ha.

You can say I am a victim fallen to government propaganda (maybe I really am), but I hope I'm not too late to say

Happy Birthday Singapore.